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 We value each person who is
involved in the adoption process. The key figures are the
birth mother, the birth father, the child and the adoptive
parents. We also know there are other important people, such
as family members and friends.
Unfortunately, the value of
birth fathers is often diminished in the eyes of many
involved in adoption. This is largely because many birth
fathers are uncooperative or uninvolved.
We understand that there are
many differing situations which are encountered with birth
fathers. Some are cooperative and work well with birth
mothers. Some are resistant to adoption and put pressure on
birth mothers to keep their children. Some threaten to seek
custody of the children while others “wash their hands” of
the situation and totally back away from any involvement.
We realize that birth mothers
have many differing kinds of relationships with birth
f athers. Some are in a good relationship and are still
together. Some are in a good relationship but no longer
together as a couple. Some have a strained relationship with
the father which has turned into not wanting anything
further to do with him.
We believe that each situation
must be understood prior to knowing exactly how to respond.
We are available to help each birth mother negotiate and
deal with the birth father. We can play a small role or a
larger role, depending upon the situation and needs of birth
mothers.
The following are some basic
questions and answers regarding the roll of birth fathers in
adoption.
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Do birth fathers have any rights?
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What if I don’t want
the birth father involved in the adoption?
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What role can a
cooperative birth father play in the adoption process?
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What if the
birth father is uncooperative?
Do birth fathers
have any rights?
As the legal process in
adoptions is about transferring the legal rights of one set
of parents to another, the rights of birth fathers must be
understood and properly handled. Each state has laws
regulating how fathers can assert their rights and how these
rights can be severed/terminated with or without their
cooperation. The ideal is to have an agreeable birth father
who will voluntarily cooperate with the adoption process. We
know there are may other levels of cooperation and
uncooperation. There are also times when it may be best for
a birth father to receive custody of a child. To discuss
these situations, it would be best to give us a call.
What if I don’t want the
birth father involved in
the adoption?
We understand there are many
times when there is a strained relationship between the
birth mother and birth father. We also know there are many
other reasons why a birth mother may wish for the father of
the baby not to be involved. The reasons why will need to be
better understood to answer this question fully. The laws
about a father’s rights vary state to state. We can help you
understand the laws in your state and the options you can
consider as you proceed further.
What role can a
cooperative birth father
play in the adoption process?
There are many times when the
mother and father are in a cooperative relationship and want
to work constructively together for the adoption of the
child. This is the best of circumstances and something to
celebrate. Being cooperative with the mother opens many
doors of possibility for birth fathers. Under these
conditions, they can be involved in every step of the
process. The problems come when the birth father is not
cooperating with the plans of the birth mother. This can
take many forms and is impossible to address in a short
paragraph. Realize that we deal with this all the time and
would be happy to talk with you about this further.
What if the
birth father is
uncooperative?
If you, as a birth mother, are
wanting to place your child for adoption and the birth
father is unwilling to cooperate, this presents added
challenges to the adoption process. Unfortunately, it is a
fairly common occurrence. There are a variety of reasons why
a birth father would be uncooperative along with a variety
of ways he can act out his uncooperative stance. These must
be taken into consideration to understand what they mean to
the adoption process. Sometimes, some level of intervention
on our part can resolve the situation. At other times, it
may require legal intervention. The outcome depends on many
factors, including how reasonable, stable and
self-sufficient the birth father is, what his financial
situation is, what kind of support he has from his family,
etc. All of this highlights how that each situation is
different.
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