|
|
|
|
 This section is designed to answer questions birth parents may have about adoption. However, this section, nor any other piece of information, cannot replace the value and benefit of talking directly with an adoption professional. 1. What is adoption? There are two perspectives to consider in answering this question. One is from a legal point of view and the other is from a social/emotional perspective. Legally, adoption is the process of transferring parental rights from one set of parents to another. This comes either through voluntary surrenders or court orders. For adoptive parents, it is accepting full legal custody of a child not born to them. However, adoption is much more than a legal process. Adoption is full of social and emotional factors for birth parents, adoptees and adoptive parents. Indeed, many of these are lifelong issues. Successful adoptions openly embrace this reality. Good agency adoption practices focus their services to meet the needs of everyone involved. 2. Is adoption harmful to a child? The media and well meaning people often misrepresent the impact of adoption on a child by giving the impression that adopted children have more emotional, psychological and behavioral problems than other non-adopted children. In reality, however, this is not true. To support this assertion, there has recently been a very large study done on adopted children which revealed that adopted children are doing as well as, and even in some ways, better than non-adopted children. AGAPE can provide more information on this study if you are interested. 3. When is a decision for adoption made? For infant adoptions, although decisions for adoption are usually made prior to birth, the legal documents are not acted upon until a child is born. In Georgia, parents are also given ten days after signing adoption papers in which to change their mind. 4. What is meant by the term "open adoption"? Open adoption is a term used in different ways by different people. Therefore, it can be somewhat confusing. The degree of openness in adoption means the extent of contact and communication between birth parents and the adoptive family. This can range from a few non-identifying contacts through letters, sharing of pictures and even meetings to full disclosure of identities and more frequent contacts. The extent of openness is worked out between the parties themselves. 5. Can I choose and meet the adoptive family? Yes! This is part of what's involved in openness in adoption. Birth parents are given extensive information on prospective adoptive families and have the opportunity to meet and interview them. The choice of a family for your child is yours. At AGAPE, we play the role of bringing people together. We empower parties to take more charge of their destiny and work together toward mutually satisfying outcomes. 6. How carefully are the adoptive parents screened and evaluated? Going through the approval process to be an adoptive parent is a very detailed and time-consuming experience. Each family goes through an educational and training process to learn about important adoption issues. They also go through an extensive evaluation process called an "Adoptive Home Study." This includes a series of interviews and reference checks to determine their emotional stability, parenting understanding and ability, financial security, motivation and understanding of adoption, marital stability, etc. Not everyone who applies to adopt is approved. 7. Will my child resent me for choosing adoption? Although this is a common fear of birth parents, it is based upon worse case scenarios that do not happen in good adoption practices. The most significant influence on attitudes about being adopted come from the adoptive parents. In years past out of fear of the birth parents, some adoptive parents would talk little about the birth parents. But this is not the case today. Adoptive parents have very positive attitudes about birth parents and convey this in special ways to their child. Openness also helps to facilitate this. Adoptees know their birth parents love them and wanted the best for them. 8. Can the adoptive parents love my child as much as I do? This is also a common fear, but is again based in an exaggerated perspective of a worst-case scenario which does not happen. Adoptive parents open their hearts to a child and love the child as if born to them. Bonding and attachment begins immediately and it is both ways! If you know an adoptive parent, you know how true this is. 9. How much contact can I have with my child and the adoptive parents after placement? This is again part of what is involved in open adoptions. The extent of contact is initially determined by mutual agreement prior to placement. However, as relationships develop over time, the amount and kind of contact often is negotiated to fit the current context of the relationship. Pictures, letters and future meetings are common in current adoption practices. 10. How can I be sure adoption is the right decision for me? Making a decision for adoption is one of the most important decisions a person will ever make. This is why professional counseling and assistance in this process can be very helpful. Good decision making involves many factors, including exploring options, weighing pros and cons, anticipating consequences, clarifying values and remaining objective. You must be careful how you compare yourself to others. What is "right" for one person may not be "right" for another. You need to realize there are many misunderstandings and myths about adoption. Talk to adoption experts to get the true facts. It is understood that decisions are made in the current context of one's life. The future is unknown and circumstances may change, but decisions are made in the present time. All one can do is the best they can do with what they know at the present time. This is how to make a responsible decision. [Adoptive Parent Services] [Information for Donors] [Board of Directors] [Contact Us] [Home] |
 |
 |